Field Notes from the Natural Learning Path — June 2026

Life-learning in our home this month

Field notes from everyday life-learning — small moments that shape children’s learning and growth.

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Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself writing repeatedly about trust. Trusting children’s learning. Trusting what happens when we stop looking so closely that our attention begins to shape what we are seeing. Trusting that behaviour often makes more sense when we widen the frame beyond the child and begin paying attention to the environments, expectations and relationships surrounding them.

As I’ve been writing, however, I’ve become aware of something slightly uncomfortable.

Many of these ideas feel crystal clear to me intellectually. I can see them in children. I can see them in families. Increasingly, I can see them in the educational systems I left behind. Yet understanding something and embodying it are not always the same thing. Life has a way of revealing the distance between the two.

This month, I have found myself reflecting not so much on whether I trust these ideas, but on how deeply that trust actually runs.

These field notes sit somewhere in the space between my writing and my life — not as conclusions, but as glimpses of what becomes visible when the ideas are lived with closely enough to begin reshaping the way I see. As always, my hope is that something here might open up a recognition for you, too.

Gem 💎

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Surrendering to Trust

A few days ago, I read an excellent piece by Pam Laricchia about the value of time and space for children’s learning, creativity, and self-awareness. In one section, she quoted one of her previous podcast guests talking about what happens when we finally stop holding back and lean fully into trust on the non-school path. She described a shift that many long-term unschoolers talk about eventually reaching — the point where trust stops being an aspiration and becomes the place from which you genuinely operate. And how that’s when the magic really starts to happen.

This struck me. Not because it felt unfamiliar, but because I recognised myself somewhere along the path rather than at the destination.

If I were forced to put a number on it, I suspect I am perhaps seventy-five percent there, which feels like a strange thing to admit after years of questioning school, years of observing children professionally, years of home educating, and years of examining the assumptions I carry about learning, children, and life itself. But the conditioning runs deep, and I can still see the remaining twenty-five percent revealing itself in surprisingly ordinary moments.

P will be deeply absorbed in something she has chosen herself — building a world from cardboard boxes, creating elaborate characters, designing props and costumes, running some intricate imaginative scenario that only makes complete sense from inside her own mind. Often these projects continue for days or even weeks, gathering complexity as they go. Then, almost inevitably, I notice my own mind beginning to move.

One of P's recent cardboard creations.

Perhaps this would be a good opportunity to introduce some measuring… Maybe we could work out dimensions together... Perhaps I could ask some questions about why something happened… Maybe I could add in a little writing somehow… Or should I just stop her altogether and get her to do some of that app?

The suggestions always come dressed as “the right thing to do” — reasonable, educational, helpful. Yet increasingly I find myself questioning where they are actually coming from.

When I look honestly, they rarely arise because something is missing from her experience. More often they arise because something feels missing from mine. Or perhaps more accurately, something feels missing from my picture of what learning should look like.

For most of my life, learning and teaching were almost inseparable concepts. Learning happened because somebody taught. Progress happened because somebody delivered information. The more visible the teaching, the more legitimate the learning appeared to be. Even after years of questioning those assumptions, they still surround me, and I can feel traces of them operating beneath the surface. They live not only in my own history, but in a wider culture that remains deeply invested in particular ideas about what learning should look like.

What has become increasingly interesting (and frustrating, I’ll admit) to me is that P generally has very little interest in these additions. She is often already immersed in a process of learning that she has organised for herself, sometimes with extraordinary focus and persistence. What she seems to resist is my attempt to redirect that process towards something that feels more recognisable from an adult perspective.

Each time this happens, I find myself reflecting on the mirror she is holding up to me and returning to a question that has been sitting underneath much of my recent writing.

How much of what I call support is actually interference?

I don’t mean interference in any dramatic sense. I’m not talking about control, domination or coercion. What I mean is something much subtler: a tendency to assume that what is naturally unfolding requires improvement. A tendency to believe that adding something is inherently more valuable than allowing something. A tendency to mistrust processes that do not look sufficiently educational from the outside.

The interesting thing is that once I started noticing this pattern in home education, I began seeing it elsewhere too.

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Surrendering to Uncertainty

The more I have sat with these questions, the more I have started noticing how often I still orient towards life from a place of management rather than trust. Not in obvious ways. Mostly in the form of mental activity. The almost automatic habit of moving ahead of reality. Trying to anticipate problems before they exist. Searching for certainty where none is available.

I have noticed this especially strongly over the past few weeks because life gave our family an unexpected opportunity to practise it.

Three weeks ago, my husband was rushed into hospital following a serious health emergency. Thankfully, after treatment and investigation, he recovered quickly and has since received reassuring follow-up care and much greater clarity about what was actually happening medically. Things are still serious, but looking back now, we have a far clearer understanding of both the problem and the path forward than we did at the time.

Yet what I found myself reflecting on most afterwards was not the medical situation itself but my own response to it.

In the first twenty-four hours after it happened, and a few times since, I could feel my mind repeatedly trying to travel into the future. It wanted answers immediately, certainty where none was available, and reassurance that everything would be fine not only now but months and years from now. Without even consciously choosing it, I found myself imagining increasingly catastrophic possibilities and then responding emotionally to futures that did not yet exist.

The strange thing was that the more tightly I held those imagined futures, the less clearly I could see what was actually happening.

Reality, at that moment, was uncertainty. It was waiting for information whilst doctors worked through a process of investigation and treatment. It was my husband receiving care whilst we waited for answers we did not yet have. Yet my mind seemed far more interested in constructing stories than remaining with reality itself.

As I sat with it, I became aware of a choice emerging.

It wasn’t a choice between caring and not caring, nor between fear and fearlessness. The situation was serious and of course I cared deeply. What I became aware of was something else entirely: it felt like a choice between two different ways of relating to uncertainty. I could continue trying to gain control over something fundamentally beyond my control, or I could return my attention to what was actually in front of me and trust myself to meet whatever unfolded when it arrived.

What became clear very quickly was that one path narrowed life and the other opened it.

When I followed my thoughts into imagined futures, everything became smaller. I could feel it affecting everything. My mood shifted, my energy narrowed, and the atmosphere within our family seemed to tighten around possibilities that had not yet happened. The future became a place filled with threats that needed anticipating and preparing for. Yet when I returned to what was actually here, something very different emerged. Gratitude became easier to access, connection deepened, and ordinary moments seemed to take on a sharper quality. The reality I had feared losing suddenly felt more precious precisely because I was inhabiting it more fully.

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Discovering What I Believe

What strikes me now is how similar this feels to many of the themes I have been exploring recently with children.

When we become preoccupied with future outcomes, we stop seeing what is actually here. When we become attached to particular narratives, we lose sensitivity to what is unfolding in front of us. When we assume our intervention is always required, we can end up disrupting processes that were already organising themselves perfectly well.

I do not think trust means passivity. My husband still needed treatment, and continues to do so. Children still need support, guidance and resources. Life still asks things of us. But I am becoming increasingly interested in the difference between responding and controlling.

One seems rooted in relationship with reality. The other often seems rooted in anxiety about the future.

As I reflect on this month, I find myself wondering whether trust is less a destination and more a continual process of noticing where we are still holding on. Not because holding on is wrong, but because life seems remarkably skilled at revealing the places where we continue searching for certainty.

For me, that has shown up in home education, in my writing, in my role as a parent, and this month very clearly in my role as a wife. Looking back, I think that is the thread running through all of it. It runs through the questions about P’s learning, the impulse to improve what was already unfolding, and the weeks spent navigating uncertainty around my husband’s health.

Again and again, life seems to be asking the same thing of me: whether I am willing to stop reaching so quickly for certainty and trust myself to meet reality as it arrives.

And perhaps then, little by little, that remaining twenty-five percent begins to soften too.

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Closing

These are this month’s field notes — small (and sometimes big) moments that continue shaping how we walk along a more natural learning path.

Again and again, they remind me that parenting, learning, and childhood itself deepens when we stop pushing and start paying attention.

If something here resonated with you, I’d love to hear: where is life currently asking you to trust a little more than feels comfortable?

Until next time,

Gem 💎