I've got a wonderful learner who had 'extreme support needs' at school. At home, he's merely working eight years 'ahead' of age and doesn't like loud noises. Having read a book by a specialist, it's common for kids as academically gifted as he is to be emotionally intense, even without the sensory issues.
According to the book, he's apparently not especially unusual, but - while he was in school - he always felt like a very unusual problem that was hard to manage (no fault of the teachers. Everyone liked him).
Oops that posted too soon. I was going to add that it also breaks my heart too, when I think of how many children are growing up being made to feel that they are broken, bad, not enough etc, when it’s really the system that is broken not them.
This resonates with me so strongly. I have worked with SEN education for 15 years and most recently a parent of child who when in school had SEN. I agree the language around children’s unique needs absolutely needs to change. Although the term began with good intention, it now seems to just encompass any child who doesn’t fit the typical educational system mould. I would say all children have special educational needs – they all have needs, all have educational needs and all have unique needs as an individual.
In school my child was labelled as having SEN, although now diagnosed as PDA autistic, in school performed academically very well but was struggling with anxiety, struggling with attending school and with emotional regulation. However, now she is home educated the label doesn’t apply any more, her unique needs are met within the learning environment I create for her and the support give her.
Isn't that wild?! In the best way. I can tell you totally get where I'm coming from, through your lived professional and now personal experience. It's like, outside of the system, distinct boundaries of 'this' or 'that' merge and disintegrate. And what is left is the real child/person, who we can now begin to truly see for exactly who they are, not through all the social and cultural filters we've been conditioned to apply. How long has your daughter been out of school now? I bet you'll find she'll be absolutely thriving soon.
I love that - that we can now see our children for exactly who they are. I took my daughter out of school last October 2024, so it is nearly a year now. She is doing really well, she has recovered from being in burnout and although of course there are still challenges, she is doing so well. Especially with where we were at a year ago.
So pleased to hear this. Sounds like she's still quite young and with your loving, attuned support is clearly bouncing back quickly. Have you heard the recommendation that for every year they have been in school, they need at least one month de-schooling/relaxing when they first come out? Makes sense - the longer we have been in the system the longer our conditioning has been being layered on.
She was in school for two years but needed much more than 2 months to deschool/rest and recover. Although I did notice that after about 2 months she had the capacity to start doing more but then did too much and went back into burnout.
Gosh yes, just shows how deeply it can affect more sensitive beings. Two months definitely doesn't seem like long enough... sounds like she was in survival mode and it took the couple of months for her to drop into a safer place. What a gift that you can now go at her unique pace :-)
It's fascinating, isn't it?
I've got a wonderful learner who had 'extreme support needs' at school. At home, he's merely working eight years 'ahead' of age and doesn't like loud noises. Having read a book by a specialist, it's common for kids as academically gifted as he is to be emotionally intense, even without the sensory issues.
According to the book, he's apparently not especially unusual, but - while he was in school - he always felt like a very unusual problem that was hard to manage (no fault of the teachers. Everyone liked him).
At home, free to be himself, he is simply a gift.
Absolutely fascinating, I wish I could gather all these stories up, like a list of “at school xyz”… “out of school xyz”
Oops that posted too soon. I was going to add that it also breaks my heart too, when I think of how many children are growing up being made to feel that they are broken, bad, not enough etc, when it’s really the system that is broken not them.
Your son sounds awesome btw, so glad he is now able to grow up naturally aligned to who he is, what a rare thing 🙏
This resonates with me so strongly. I have worked with SEN education for 15 years and most recently a parent of child who when in school had SEN. I agree the language around children’s unique needs absolutely needs to change. Although the term began with good intention, it now seems to just encompass any child who doesn’t fit the typical educational system mould. I would say all children have special educational needs – they all have needs, all have educational needs and all have unique needs as an individual.
In school my child was labelled as having SEN, although now diagnosed as PDA autistic, in school performed academically very well but was struggling with anxiety, struggling with attending school and with emotional regulation. However, now she is home educated the label doesn’t apply any more, her unique needs are met within the learning environment I create for her and the support give her.
Isn't that wild?! In the best way. I can tell you totally get where I'm coming from, through your lived professional and now personal experience. It's like, outside of the system, distinct boundaries of 'this' or 'that' merge and disintegrate. And what is left is the real child/person, who we can now begin to truly see for exactly who they are, not through all the social and cultural filters we've been conditioned to apply. How long has your daughter been out of school now? I bet you'll find she'll be absolutely thriving soon.
I love that - that we can now see our children for exactly who they are. I took my daughter out of school last October 2024, so it is nearly a year now. She is doing really well, she has recovered from being in burnout and although of course there are still challenges, she is doing so well. Especially with where we were at a year ago.
So pleased to hear this. Sounds like she's still quite young and with your loving, attuned support is clearly bouncing back quickly. Have you heard the recommendation that for every year they have been in school, they need at least one month de-schooling/relaxing when they first come out? Makes sense - the longer we have been in the system the longer our conditioning has been being layered on.
She was in school for two years but needed much more than 2 months to deschool/rest and recover. Although I did notice that after about 2 months she had the capacity to start doing more but then did too much and went back into burnout.
Gosh yes, just shows how deeply it can affect more sensitive beings. Two months definitely doesn't seem like long enough... sounds like she was in survival mode and it took the couple of months for her to drop into a safer place. What a gift that you can now go at her unique pace :-)