My daughter's capacity really fluctuates. Understanding this has been so helpful. You are so right about all the unseen work and flexibility that goes on in order to manage and respond to fluctuating capacity. No wonder I feel mentally and emotionally drained even on days where we haven't done much - it really is draining. When I was working in schools, teachers and TAs would often comment that a child could do something last week/yesterday and so why can't they do it today. Children seem to be held to much higher expectations than adults. Children are expected to produce the same outcome every day, every week no matter what is going on for them.
It's wild isn't it, when the very nature of children is that they are still in a formative stage of their human development, so being "up and down" is going to be more of a given for them than it is for adults. Yet they are placed in uniform environments for endless hours, with many others (sensory overload), and essentially criticised for not being consistent. Glad this article validated your daily experience and yes why we can feel so exhausted when "not much" has happened! You're doing so great for your daughter :-)
I hope every parent finds this article. It’s beautifully written and was a great reminder and permission for me to follow my little one’s needs and energy. Thanks for sharing your insights on here!!
Thank you so much for your lovely words Lauren. I’m delighted that you have found value in this piece, and because of that I’m happy for the children in your life too ❤️ Thank you for engaging and for sharing 🙏
My daughter's capacity really fluctuates. Understanding this has been so helpful. You are so right about all the unseen work and flexibility that goes on in order to manage and respond to fluctuating capacity. No wonder I feel mentally and emotionally drained even on days where we haven't done much - it really is draining. When I was working in schools, teachers and TAs would often comment that a child could do something last week/yesterday and so why can't they do it today. Children seem to be held to much higher expectations than adults. Children are expected to produce the same outcome every day, every week no matter what is going on for them.
It's wild isn't it, when the very nature of children is that they are still in a formative stage of their human development, so being "up and down" is going to be more of a given for them than it is for adults. Yet they are placed in uniform environments for endless hours, with many others (sensory overload), and essentially criticised for not being consistent. Glad this article validated your daily experience and yes why we can feel so exhausted when "not much" has happened! You're doing so great for your daughter :-)
This is such a thoughtful and sensitive piece, Gem. I think many parents will feel deeply seen reading this (I did!)
Ah thank you and I’m so glad it resonated. It’s an important conversation for sure.
I am giving a TEDx Talk on this exact topic in two weeks! Great minds…
Oh wow! That is awesome. Do send me a link. Great to connect :-)
I most certainly will. What a gift to bump into someone else with similar thoughts and feelings.
Indeed :-) We are sharing important messages.
I hope every parent finds this article. It’s beautifully written and was a great reminder and permission for me to follow my little one’s needs and energy. Thanks for sharing your insights on here!!
Thank you so much for your lovely words Lauren. I’m delighted that you have found value in this piece, and because of that I’m happy for the children in your life too ❤️ Thank you for engaging and for sharing 🙏
You are a loving and wise parent.
Bless you 😘🙏